In many homes, we find a very interesting situation regarding how wives view a very central question. The homes are those that have both (1) a teenage or almost teenage boy and (2) a husband. 

Being good Christian parents, these homes have a great concern about how much sex their son is exposed to. The mothers in these homes are vigilant about protecting their sons from too much exposure to sexually explicit material or even sexually suggestive material. Put simply, there is no good reason to let their sons grow up on a diet of Lady Gaga videos or magazines filled with half-naked girls. 

Mothers, in these situations, will be very careful about all kinds of things. I know a couple who no longer go (with their son) to the best pizza parlor in our town because the parlor uses young waitresses who often wear "short shorts" at work. Having a teenage son, she feels strongly that he does not need that kind of visual with his pizza. 

In the same way, television shows and movies are carefully screened and, sometimes, shown in truncated fashion to avoid the sexually suggestive parts of those shows or movies. Mothers will often be uncomfortable having their sons around attractive female cousins. 

Now, without any question, I fully support these efforts. We all know that sexual desire is a major factor in the lives of young men. While we may disagree on specifics occasionally, all Christian parents need to be alert to these dangers. Speaking as a man, I can tell you that I clearly recall early images and they can be a problem for years. 

Here is what makes it odd, though. The same mother who fears doing anything to inflame her son, will often be a wife who is not fond of sex with her husband. She realizes the power of the sexual drive in the young man, but discounts its tempations in her husband's life. While her daily activities are driven by being sexually alert, when her son is involved, she ignores the real problem she is creating for her husband. 

I do not mean problems arising from movies or television or waitresses, but from the wife herself. The same wife who is deathly afraid that her son will see a woman's legs lives with a man who sees her legs all the time. The same wife who thinks that any look at a partially clad woman will inflame her son walks casually around her husband dressed in far less. 

Sexuality is a very important concept in the life of almost every man. While you may fear that your son will see or think about sexual things, you must realize that your husband both sees and thinks about them all the time. He lies in bed with a woman he finds sexy and whom he loves. Just as your son's sexual safety is in your keeping, so is your husband's. 

The Bible is clear. Married men are not to "control" their sexuality, but to fully indulge their sexual desires with their wives. Proverbs 5 is quite clear. Pro. 5:15-19 directs the man to find full fulfillment in his own wife. 

Spend a few moments thinking about how much temptation your husband faces each day, just from living with you. Not from the secretaries at work or pictures on billboards or television shows, but just from living with you. Then add in the other things, in fear of which you govern your son's activities. 

How much temptation does your husband face every day? How much do you reject God's way of satisfying the result? 
In the news this morning is an article regarding "single fathers," and the apparent fact that some men now want to be fathers without being husbands. They are not, primarily, talking about homosexual couples, either, but heterosexual men who want to be fathers without being married.

This, of course, follows the fact that many women have made the same decision from the other side, choosing to be moms without being wives. What is going on here?

More than anything, this tendency arises because of how poorly most of us do at marriage. We have seen so many couples divorced or struggling, we have heard of so much adultery and unhappiness, that we no longer believe that marraige can work at all.

We should realize how much this relates to the problem of finding someone to marry. It appears that many of these situations involve people who cannot "find the right person" to marry. The desire to be a parent is so strong that they just want to find some way to have a child without having to be married. This is because either they or their prospective spouses are just wrong about marrying. Being unable to find anyone, they choose to go it alone.

We should also realize how much this has to do with staying together. Many of these people may have tried marriage at some point with no success. Again, marriage is a permanent state in the minds of many of us, but a temporary state in the minds of many others. They do not "marry for life" but for the time being. They are not committed to their commitment.

Finally, we should realize what this means about how far we have gone from wisdom. The idea of wanting to be a single parent seems so wrong on so many levels. It means wanting to be what most of us agree is a sad thing: a single parent. It means taking a child and putting that child in a sad situation, living with someone who cannot live with anyone else.

Part of what makes parenting possible is the experience of having been through marriage. Another part is having someone to share the experience, to bear much of the burden. It is difficult for those of us who have been married so long to imagine choosing to be a single parent.

How sad these stories have to make us, no matter how small the numbers may be. Somewhere, there is a man who cannot get along well enough with a woman to marry and stay married. Somewhere else, there is a woman who cannot get along well enough with a man to marry and stay married. Each of them now wants a child, who will have to live with them. However much we may pity the man and the woman, we must pity the c