Rarity of the Excellent Wife - Part 1
Scripture is filled with references to wives and to marriage, but a repeated issue is the "value" of an excellent wife.
An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.
Proverbs 31:10.
Think about the language of the Proverbs writer.
First, he asks the most obvious question: “Who can find an excellent wife?” We often move past this question to the answer he gives, but let’s think about it. “Who can find an excellent wife?”
Can you?
It would be well worth looking. Proverbs 31 goes on to tell us about such a woman, in a beautiful acrostic poem of which this is the first verse. The entirety of the poem is about what it would mean to be an excellent wife.
Are you an excellent wife? If so, then Proverbs 31 will tell you about yourself, about your kindness, your wisdom, your honoring of your husband, your benefits to your family, and the constant work that is involved. To be an “excellent wife” is to be a busy, powerful, kind, submissive, respectful, and leading person in life.
Or, maybe, Proverbs 31 doesn’t sound like you at all.
Second, he answers the question with an important point. The point is her rarity. She is difficult to find and is, therefore, highly valued. Who can find her? What young man, looking at young women, can find an excellent wife among them? How can he know the heart and dedication and love and work that she is capable of providing?
He cannot know, no man can know. Who can find an excellent wife?
We know much about her, but two other points at this stage of our class.
First, Proverbs 12:4: “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones.”
A crown, of course, is a public item that glorifies its wearer. An excellent wife is a “crown” because she brings, more than anything else, immediate glory to her husband. As you come to know her, you respect him more, because he is married to her. But this is not always true at all, because many wives bring shame to their husband, which is like a rottenness in his bones, a disease that weakens him year by year from inside.
Second, an answer to his first question is at Proverbs 19:14: “House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the LORD.”
Ultimately, finding a prudent wife, an excellent wife, is not a gift that a man has. No man can know on the day of a wedding whether his wife is going to be excellent. No man can be sure whom she is, no matter how much he gets to know her. Rather, the gift is from God.
It is God who has the power to give this gift to your husband, through you.
An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.
Proverbs 31:10.
Think about the language of the Proverbs writer.
First, he asks the most obvious question: “Who can find an excellent wife?” We often move past this question to the answer he gives, but let’s think about it. “Who can find an excellent wife?”
Can you?
It would be well worth looking. Proverbs 31 goes on to tell us about such a woman, in a beautiful acrostic poem of which this is the first verse. The entirety of the poem is about what it would mean to be an excellent wife.
Are you an excellent wife? If so, then Proverbs 31 will tell you about yourself, about your kindness, your wisdom, your honoring of your husband, your benefits to your family, and the constant work that is involved. To be an “excellent wife” is to be a busy, powerful, kind, submissive, respectful, and leading person in life.
Or, maybe, Proverbs 31 doesn’t sound like you at all.
Second, he answers the question with an important point. The point is her rarity. She is difficult to find and is, therefore, highly valued. Who can find her? What young man, looking at young women, can find an excellent wife among them? How can he know the heart and dedication and love and work that she is capable of providing?
He cannot know, no man can know. Who can find an excellent wife?
We know much about her, but two other points at this stage of our class.
First, Proverbs 12:4: “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones.”
A crown, of course, is a public item that glorifies its wearer. An excellent wife is a “crown” because she brings, more than anything else, immediate glory to her husband. As you come to know her, you respect him more, because he is married to her. But this is not always true at all, because many wives bring shame to their husband, which is like a rottenness in his bones, a disease that weakens him year by year from inside.
Second, an answer to his first question is at Proverbs 19:14: “House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the LORD.”
Ultimately, finding a prudent wife, an excellent wife, is not a gift that a man has. No man can know on the day of a wedding whether his wife is going to be excellent. No man can be sure whom she is, no matter how much he gets to know her. Rather, the gift is from God.
It is God who has the power to give this gift to your husband, through you.
Rarity of the Excellent Wife -- Part 2
In reading through Proverbs 31, the number of
characteristics of the “excellent wife” that can be found in this short text is
impressive. Consider the following characteristics of the excellent wife:
1. She is trustworthy (11)
2. She does her husband good and not evil daily (12)
3. She is diligent in working (throughout)
4. She makes herself stronger (17, 25)
5. She is charitable (20)
6. She is dignified (25)
7. She is optimistic (laughs at the future) (25)
8. She is wise and a teacher of her children (26)
9. She fears the Lord (30)
10. She is praised (28-31)
There are more that can be found, but let’s stick with these ten things, which seem to be enough for any woman to seek.
There is nothing in this list that a woman “just is.” Many of us enter marriage with the idea that “now, someone will accept me for who I am.” We fall in love with someone who loves us and assume that our present, natural state is “good enough” for marriage.
But, when married, we learn that we were wrong (or we ought to learn). We learn that there are many things about us that others have to tolerate and some things they should not tolerate. Rather than change, we often demand not just tolerance but even acceptance of “who we are.”
But we are a class of women, not a class of husbands. The time for pretending that we are all “excellent wives” is well past. It is time to be honest about ourselves as wives.
There will be no men in this class. The goal is to learn what it means to be an excellent wife, even if it means being other than what we are by nature. Who our husbands are will affect “how” these things are worked out, but have no effect on what these things are.
Are you an excellent wife? Do you want to be an excellent wife?
If so, God has a lot of things to tell you.
1. She is trustworthy (11)
2. She does her husband good and not evil daily (12)
3. She is diligent in working (throughout)
4. She makes herself stronger (17, 25)
5. She is charitable (20)
6. She is dignified (25)
7. She is optimistic (laughs at the future) (25)
8. She is wise and a teacher of her children (26)
9. She fears the Lord (30)
10. She is praised (28-31)
There are more that can be found, but let’s stick with these ten things, which seem to be enough for any woman to seek.
There is nothing in this list that a woman “just is.” Many of us enter marriage with the idea that “now, someone will accept me for who I am.” We fall in love with someone who loves us and assume that our present, natural state is “good enough” for marriage.
But, when married, we learn that we were wrong (or we ought to learn). We learn that there are many things about us that others have to tolerate and some things they should not tolerate. Rather than change, we often demand not just tolerance but even acceptance of “who we are.”
But we are a class of women, not a class of husbands. The time for pretending that we are all “excellent wives” is well past. It is time to be honest about ourselves as wives.
There will be no men in this class. The goal is to learn what it means to be an excellent wife, even if it means being other than what we are by nature. Who our husbands are will affect “how” these things are worked out, but have no effect on what these things are.
Are you an excellent wife? Do you want to be an excellent wife?
If so, God has a lot of things to tell you.