Loving Him by Being Diligent
Look at the list of things that the excellent wife does in
Proverbs 31:
(1) She seeks out things to benefit her family and works with delight (vv. 13, 19)
(2) She brings good things into the home (v. 14)
(3) She is not idle, but is “up and about” for her family (v. 15)
(4) She uses her talents and wisdom to benefit the family economically (vv. 16, 24)
(5) She takes care of her own health and beauty (vv. 17, 22)
(6) She rejoices in her success and plans ahead (vv. 18, 21, 27)
What about today’s world? Well, things are different, aren’t they?
We are repeatedly told how “hard” it is to be a wife. You can buy t-shirts with slogans about a housewife having the “hardest job” in the world. We are inundated with comedians who complain about how “hard” it is to be a wife, and even with Roseanne Barr’s famous line: “If the kids are alive when he gets home, I’ve done my job.”
The result of this idea is simple – a society filled with people who think being a “worker at home” is a bad thing. They believe they have “sacrificed” by staying at home and believe they are “worthy of something” for having done so. They want nights out and days out and all kinds of things to let them “relax” from their hard work. Husbands, we are told, spend their days “out in the world with other men” while women are “stuck at home with the drudgery of housework." Somehow, it is his job to “make her happy” on the weekends, as if he had spent the week playing rather than working at his own job.
But, let’s think about it.
Is it really “hard” to be a housewife? Not when compared to any other period in history. Think about what a housewife does:
Laundry – Do you remember “laundry day” when you were young? I do. My mom would take a whole day. She would wash our clothes (I remember the wringing device on the old machine) and, when finished washing, she would hang each garment on a line in the backyard to dry. When it was dry, she would gather it in and iron for hours. She ironed every pair of pants and every shirt and every skirt and every dress and every blouse in the family (five children). And I am talking only about 50 years ago. What about earlier days? The first electric washer was built in 1908 and was not all common in homes for thirty years or more. Going to the river to beat clothes on a rock is not that far in our past (the scrub board, by the way, came in 1797).
Today? We put in a load to wash and go do something else. When it finishes after an hour or so, we put it in the dryer and load another in the washer and wait another hour. We take clothes out of the dryer, fold them promptly, and iron almost nothing (permanent press is a great invention). Laundry day now just means an occasional interruption, not a full day’s work.
Preparing meals – Every kitchen now has modern ovens and stoves, but also microwave ovens (75% of homes of people making less than $15,000 a year have a microwave). Food is readily available at a local store and can be prepared in far less time than in earlier days. Wives who spent hours preparing meals now spend, perhaps, a single hour. Consider the “Little House on the Prairie” world, where food had to be grown and stored or traded for or purchased far in advance. Wives spent days and weeks in growing, canning, and trading various types of foodstuffs. Bread and potatoes were often all people had to eat. Meat required killing an animal and cleaning its body, storing all the meat at once (including salting anything not eaten immediately). Refrigerators were unknown.
Two examples ought to be enough, but there are dozens to use. Women in the “old days” had so many chores that no one has today. They made clothing for their families, cared for domestic fowls (chicken and geese and ducks), sold eggs, kept a garden, canned vegetables and fruits. Consider this description of life on the prairie:
The woman of the family and the older girls usually made the family's clothes. Depending on where they lived, they might use flax, cotton, or wool. They may have started from scratch, spinning the yarn on a spinning wheel. Next, they would weave the yarn into fabric on a loom. Not every family had a loom, so the woman might visit a neighbor when it was time to weave. Then the fabric that they had woven, or fabric that they had bought, would be sewn into clothing, at first by hand, and later on with a sewing machine. They sewed all of the everyday clothing worn at the time, including bonnets and aprons for the women and girls. They would make shoes, moccasins, and even heavy trousers for the men from leather.
They made quilts too. After the top layer of a quilt was finished, the woman would get together with her neighbors to quilt the top layer to a bottom layer, with warm stuffing in between. This was an all day project, called a quilting bee.
They made soap for bathing and for laundry from animal fat. They made candles from animal fat too. You can imagine that, without electricity, they had to make a lot of candles!
But, today, we buy clothes, we buy quilts, we buy soap. In a single trip to Wal-Mart, I can purchase everything of economic necessity that wives used to make at home.
So, think about the common current homemaker situation. The number of “necessary jobs” is far smaller than it used to be. She does not have to make clothing (or thread for clothing). She does not have to make ketchup or store apples or take care of chickens or geese. Her food is in the refrigerator or freezer or pantry (or is available in the local store a short drive away). Everything is easier.
Entertainments are more numerous. In the prairie days, women lived on isolated farms, now they live in communities. They have prayer groups and luncheon groups. They have “play dates” for their children and local parks. They have telephones and cell phones and e-mail and Facebook. They have television and radio.
The excellent wife of Proverbs 31 was diligent because she had to be diligent or nothing would get done. If she did not make things (food, clothing), her family would do without. She is sure about the future because she is prepared for the future. She is prepared because she is diligent.
But no one needs to look for wool and flax today. No one needs her hand on a spindle or a distaff. What would an excellent wife look like today?
Given how much narrower are her duties, she would need to be diligent in those narrower duties. She would need to be creative in her time, using it for good works for both her family and others (as in v. 20). She needs to rise early to accomplish her tasks and to be ready for the things that need to be done.
In that regard, think about this – Can you rise early each day this week? Can you, for a week, “not eat the bread of idleness?”
If so, then try two assignments. First, list three things you could do for your family’s welfare.
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
Determine to do those things this week. Check off each task as it is done. Take a moment to think how each completed task makes your life, and your family’s life, better or easier.
Second, in regard to the most obvious duty (homemaking), list three things about your home that you would be ashamed to let people see.
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
Now fix those things.
There really is a difference, after all, between a “housewife” and a “homemaker.” Let your husband see that you are actually a “homemaker,” not just a “housewife.”
(1) She seeks out things to benefit her family and works with delight (vv. 13, 19)
(2) She brings good things into the home (v. 14)
(3) She is not idle, but is “up and about” for her family (v. 15)
(4) She uses her talents and wisdom to benefit the family economically (vv. 16, 24)
(5) She takes care of her own health and beauty (vv. 17, 22)
(6) She rejoices in her success and plans ahead (vv. 18, 21, 27)
What about today’s world? Well, things are different, aren’t they?
We are repeatedly told how “hard” it is to be a wife. You can buy t-shirts with slogans about a housewife having the “hardest job” in the world. We are inundated with comedians who complain about how “hard” it is to be a wife, and even with Roseanne Barr’s famous line: “If the kids are alive when he gets home, I’ve done my job.”
The result of this idea is simple – a society filled with people who think being a “worker at home” is a bad thing. They believe they have “sacrificed” by staying at home and believe they are “worthy of something” for having done so. They want nights out and days out and all kinds of things to let them “relax” from their hard work. Husbands, we are told, spend their days “out in the world with other men” while women are “stuck at home with the drudgery of housework." Somehow, it is his job to “make her happy” on the weekends, as if he had spent the week playing rather than working at his own job.
But, let’s think about it.
Is it really “hard” to be a housewife? Not when compared to any other period in history. Think about what a housewife does:
Laundry – Do you remember “laundry day” when you were young? I do. My mom would take a whole day. She would wash our clothes (I remember the wringing device on the old machine) and, when finished washing, she would hang each garment on a line in the backyard to dry. When it was dry, she would gather it in and iron for hours. She ironed every pair of pants and every shirt and every skirt and every dress and every blouse in the family (five children). And I am talking only about 50 years ago. What about earlier days? The first electric washer was built in 1908 and was not all common in homes for thirty years or more. Going to the river to beat clothes on a rock is not that far in our past (the scrub board, by the way, came in 1797).
Today? We put in a load to wash and go do something else. When it finishes after an hour or so, we put it in the dryer and load another in the washer and wait another hour. We take clothes out of the dryer, fold them promptly, and iron almost nothing (permanent press is a great invention). Laundry day now just means an occasional interruption, not a full day’s work.
Preparing meals – Every kitchen now has modern ovens and stoves, but also microwave ovens (75% of homes of people making less than $15,000 a year have a microwave). Food is readily available at a local store and can be prepared in far less time than in earlier days. Wives who spent hours preparing meals now spend, perhaps, a single hour. Consider the “Little House on the Prairie” world, where food had to be grown and stored or traded for or purchased far in advance. Wives spent days and weeks in growing, canning, and trading various types of foodstuffs. Bread and potatoes were often all people had to eat. Meat required killing an animal and cleaning its body, storing all the meat at once (including salting anything not eaten immediately). Refrigerators were unknown.
Two examples ought to be enough, but there are dozens to use. Women in the “old days” had so many chores that no one has today. They made clothing for their families, cared for domestic fowls (chicken and geese and ducks), sold eggs, kept a garden, canned vegetables and fruits. Consider this description of life on the prairie:
The woman of the family and the older girls usually made the family's clothes. Depending on where they lived, they might use flax, cotton, or wool. They may have started from scratch, spinning the yarn on a spinning wheel. Next, they would weave the yarn into fabric on a loom. Not every family had a loom, so the woman might visit a neighbor when it was time to weave. Then the fabric that they had woven, or fabric that they had bought, would be sewn into clothing, at first by hand, and later on with a sewing machine. They sewed all of the everyday clothing worn at the time, including bonnets and aprons for the women and girls. They would make shoes, moccasins, and even heavy trousers for the men from leather.
They made quilts too. After the top layer of a quilt was finished, the woman would get together with her neighbors to quilt the top layer to a bottom layer, with warm stuffing in between. This was an all day project, called a quilting bee.
They made soap for bathing and for laundry from animal fat. They made candles from animal fat too. You can imagine that, without electricity, they had to make a lot of candles!
But, today, we buy clothes, we buy quilts, we buy soap. In a single trip to Wal-Mart, I can purchase everything of economic necessity that wives used to make at home.
So, think about the common current homemaker situation. The number of “necessary jobs” is far smaller than it used to be. She does not have to make clothing (or thread for clothing). She does not have to make ketchup or store apples or take care of chickens or geese. Her food is in the refrigerator or freezer or pantry (or is available in the local store a short drive away). Everything is easier.
Entertainments are more numerous. In the prairie days, women lived on isolated farms, now they live in communities. They have prayer groups and luncheon groups. They have “play dates” for their children and local parks. They have telephones and cell phones and e-mail and Facebook. They have television and radio.
The excellent wife of Proverbs 31 was diligent because she had to be diligent or nothing would get done. If she did not make things (food, clothing), her family would do without. She is sure about the future because she is prepared for the future. She is prepared because she is diligent.
But no one needs to look for wool and flax today. No one needs her hand on a spindle or a distaff. What would an excellent wife look like today?
Given how much narrower are her duties, she would need to be diligent in those narrower duties. She would need to be creative in her time, using it for good works for both her family and others (as in v. 20). She needs to rise early to accomplish her tasks and to be ready for the things that need to be done.
In that regard, think about this – Can you rise early each day this week? Can you, for a week, “not eat the bread of idleness?”
If so, then try two assignments. First, list three things you could do for your family’s welfare.
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
Determine to do those things this week. Check off each task as it is done. Take a moment to think how each completed task makes your life, and your family’s life, better or easier.
Second, in regard to the most obvious duty (homemaking), list three things about your home that you would be ashamed to let people see.
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
Now fix those things.
There really is a difference, after all, between a “housewife” and a “homemaker.” Let your husband see that you are actually a “homemaker,” not just a “housewife.”
Love Him by Being Diligent - Part 2
In being diligent this week, how
did you do in each of the areas we discussed last week:
i) She seeks out things to benefit her family and works with delight (vv. 13, 19)
ii) She brings good things into the home (v. 14)
iii) She is not idle, but is “up and about” for her family (v. 15, 27)
iv) She uses her talents and wisdom to benefit the family economically (vv. 16, 24)
v) She takes care of her own health and beauty (vv. 17, 22)
vi) She rejoices in her success and plans ahead (vv. 18, 21)
Interesting list, isn’t it? Do you have something for each of these? It can be hard to match these things to our lives. There is nothing in here about how much time you spent on Facebook with your friends, or how much rest you took, or how many shows you watched, or how many swim or music lessons your children took. It can be difficult to narrow our lives a little.
Diligence is always about decision-making. There are always alternatives to whatever we choose to do. If we choose to cook, we could have chosen something else to do. If we choose not to cook, we could have chosen cooking.
One of the tricks of the modern world is to convince us of all the things that are “absolutely important” to us. Things like music lessons or tennis lessons or yoga, things our parents never had, can be presented as if they are “absolutely necessary” for us or our children. But, they are not. The money spent (and the time spent) on such things needs to be carefully considered. We cannot do everything.
In talking about the myth of the “superwoman,” this is where the project fails. The modern “superwoman” is just as busy as the excellent wife, but she is busy with different things. She is taking children hither and yon for lessons and youth meetings and choirs and dramas and all the stuff we use to fill up our children’s lives. She is volunteering here and there or leading a fund drive for something or going to jazzercise. She is filling her life with things of minimal value as compared to her husband and her relationship with her husband.
As a matter of simple truth, a wife cannot do all the things a single person does, at least not without failing at something a wife should do. Marriage changes your duties. Becoming a wife is not just a change in status; it is a change in the very nature of who you are and what you are supposed to do.
How excellent were you this week?
i) She seeks out things to benefit her family and works with delight (vv. 13, 19)
ii) She brings good things into the home (v. 14)
iii) She is not idle, but is “up and about” for her family (v. 15, 27)
iv) She uses her talents and wisdom to benefit the family economically (vv. 16, 24)
v) She takes care of her own health and beauty (vv. 17, 22)
vi) She rejoices in her success and plans ahead (vv. 18, 21)
Interesting list, isn’t it? Do you have something for each of these? It can be hard to match these things to our lives. There is nothing in here about how much time you spent on Facebook with your friends, or how much rest you took, or how many shows you watched, or how many swim or music lessons your children took. It can be difficult to narrow our lives a little.
Diligence is always about decision-making. There are always alternatives to whatever we choose to do. If we choose to cook, we could have chosen something else to do. If we choose not to cook, we could have chosen cooking.
One of the tricks of the modern world is to convince us of all the things that are “absolutely important” to us. Things like music lessons or tennis lessons or yoga, things our parents never had, can be presented as if they are “absolutely necessary” for us or our children. But, they are not. The money spent (and the time spent) on such things needs to be carefully considered. We cannot do everything.
In talking about the myth of the “superwoman,” this is where the project fails. The modern “superwoman” is just as busy as the excellent wife, but she is busy with different things. She is taking children hither and yon for lessons and youth meetings and choirs and dramas and all the stuff we use to fill up our children’s lives. She is volunteering here and there or leading a fund drive for something or going to jazzercise. She is filling her life with things of minimal value as compared to her husband and her relationship with her husband.
As a matter of simple truth, a wife cannot do all the things a single person does, at least not without failing at something a wife should do. Marriage changes your duties. Becoming a wife is not just a change in status; it is a change in the very nature of who you are and what you are supposed to do.
How excellent were you this week?