One of the common risks of a "wife class" is the attempt to come up with lists of "things to do." We can talk about all kinds of things about the excellent wife, but many people want (and most teachers will give) lists of things the excellent wife is supposed to do. The students will either (1) ignore the list or (2) rush out to do the stuff on the lists. One website has a list of 100 things wives ought to do. 

100 things? 

What you see immediately is that making a list is not the answer, not if the answer is 100. I don't want my wife looking at a list of 100 things and deciding what she ought to do that day. 

In our faith, we are also often given lists of things by preachers (Ten Steps to the Holy Spirit, 12 Keys to a Happy Family, 20 Ways to Share Your Faith). These lists are just variations on our human tendency toward Law. We all assume that rules (laws and lists) are necessary and good for everything. 

But scripture tells us that no one is justified by law. Romans 3:20; Galatians 2:16, 3:11. Likewise, no one's love is proved by doing things on a list.

Love is a dynamic duty, one that changes and requires constant attention and care. Husbands are not all alike nor do they stay the same year after year. What a man likes or needs when he is 25 may not be what he likes and needs when he is 35, 45, 55, or 65.  You love him only by knowing him and understanding what he needs and what he wants, not through lists.

Lists are useful as sources of ideas, of things that "can be done" or "should be considered." A list might tell you something about food you did not know or suggest a quiet place for dinner or a walk. 

But love is not a function of lists. Love is a spiritual duty offered in obedience to a spiritual God, whose joy it is to see His children living in that love. 

Don't do a hundred things or worry about a hundred things, do one thing. Today. Then do another tomorrow. What thing should you do? Your knowledge of your husband will tell you.

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