So, it is Valentine's Day. Again.

We have many "special" days we are told to observe, but this one is unique because it is entirely designed for the purpose of buying things. Christmas, at least, arose from celebrating Christ and then degenerated into being about buying things. Birthdays were celebrations of life which degenerated into just buying things. Anniversaries were celebrations of marriage that degenerated into just buying things. But, Valentine's Day, as long as I have been alive, is just about buying things. And, specifically, buying things for women.

Candy. Jewelry. Cards. Automobiles. Even gifts of lingerie are now marketed as being a "proof" that a man loves his wife. In the USA, at least, there is no equivalent day for buying things for men, either. This is about women getting things from men. How did we get here?

All over the country, men will get up, go to work, and work all day to support their family. But that is not enough "proof," we are told. All over the country, men will get off work and head home, but that is not proof enough, either. Many of those men will buy groceries on their way home, but that is not proof enough, either. Once home, they will join in caring for their children, they will participate in the life of the family, they will tell their wives "I love you," but that is not enough, either.

We are told that the men must bring candy or jewelry or a card or flowers. WIthout candy, jewelry, cards, or flowers, their actual love is considered deficient. Their wife will feel let down and unloved, no matter how much love they have actually been shown, because they husband did not stop at a store and spend money on a gift for them.

So, ladies, let's think about this for a minute. You believe that a bracelet or a box of candy or a bunch of flowers will prove his love for you? Were you in doubt about his love? Were his years of faithfulness not enough for you? Was his faithfulness in your pregnancies, caring for you and staying with you, not enough? Was his faithfulness in your illnesses not enough? Was his willingness to work every day, day after day, to support you and the family not enough?

Well, maybe it wasn't. Maybe you need candy or flowers or cards or jewelry. If so, it is because you do not  understand love at all. Love is not about the things he can give you, but about how he cares for you. Thanking him for a box of candy is nothing. Have you thanked him lately for the life he has shared with you?

In a production of "A Christmas Carol," there is a scene where Fred Holliwell gives his wife a Christmas gift. It is a very nice bracelet. She thanks him and, having put it on, tells him "I love you. And not just for this." It is a nice scene.

Tonight, if he brings you something as he has been told to do, give him the same answer she gave. Let him know that you love him, and not just for February 14, or for candy or a bracelet. Let him know you love him in truth. 

And if he brings you nothing. If your budget is so tight, or if he is so busy, or if he just forgets, then do the same thing. Hug him and tell him that you love him and let Valentine's Day go.

It's not really about his love anyway. It just about buying things.
Carol Ray
2/14/2013 02:57:53 am

My husband does not have to buy me candy or flowers to prove his love for me. He might buy them but it is because he wants too. He proves his love everyday by providing a food and shelter for us. By being there when I am sick. To do anything he can to make me feel better. To wash dishes or anything he thinks is for my benefit. I know I am loved every day of the year.


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