But, the reality is that most wives, at some point, are also mothers. Somehow, these two complementary relationships often end up in conflict. Think, for a minute, about all the possibilities.
You may be the mother to children you and your husband made together (whether by sex or adoption). In this case, you are both equal parents and, we hope, work together.
You may be a stepmother to children your husband made somewhere else. This is a very different situation, no matter how much you try to be a good mother to those children.
You may be a mother to a child who is your husband's stepchild. That is, you may have made the child somewhere else and now your husband has the stepparent role.
You may even be in a family with all kinds of mixes of these situations. Some people, marrying after multiple divorces, may have all kinds of different situations to address and care for.
Children, in short, are a very complex issue not only because they are small, sinful people with very little knowledge, but because of the things we have done in our lives.
My brother and I are beginning a class on Wednesday about being a parent. My brother is a pediatrician and a believer and is a good speaker on this topic, with years of experience.
We will be addressing practical issues (what do you do with a child who cries all the time) and spiritual issues (how do you teach a child about Christ). We will try to address a lot of things that churches often do not address.
But, thinking about it makes me remember how many issues there are that we each face. It is not possible to list all that we have to consider, but we have to consider a lot of things. Take some time today to think about your children (whether biological, adopted, step, or anything else). Think about how you and your husband have worked together (or not) in raising them. Has this been a source of comfort in your marriage, or of dispute? Have you kept him in mind in all your dealings with them?
Children are a blessing from the Lord, but not always a blessing in every way. They are kind and cruel, honest and dishonest, guileless and tricky, helpful and wicked.
They are a lot like us, in fact, which makes rearing them such a challenge.