Well, they have Valentine's Day candy in the stores. I have two confessions to make regarding Valentine's Day.

First, I love Brach's Conversation Hearts. Not any other kind, mind you, just theirs. When I see the Valentine's Day stuff on display, I start looking for those Hearts. They are a favorite candy for me and, thankfully, are not sold all year. 

Second, I hate Valentine's Day. Yes, I know, we are not supposed to say "hate" this way, but there is no really adequate substitute. 

The reason I dislike (how's that) Valentine's Day is that I love my wife all year. Every day that I get up and go to work, I prove how much I love her. Every day that I spend with her, I love her. My love is not toys or trinkets or paper or sparkles, it is something deep within me that colors my entire existence. 

This is true of most husbands. We love our wives and we try to live that love everyday. We live it by doing things we would never do for anyone else. We go to work and we fix faucets and we play with children and we call repairmen and we change oil in cars. We take all the money we are paid for our work and give it to our families for food and clothes and pleasures and all the things that keep their lives going. We do this every day, every week, every month. 

But, then we are told that we do not do "enough." Spending my life working to make a living is not "enough" to tell her I love her. Spending my weekends working on our home and spending time with our children are not enough to show her I love her. Helping her every day, for the whole year, is not enough to tell her I love her. No, I need to buy her a present for Valentine's Day. 

I do not believe in St. Valentine or know who he supposedly was. I know he was not at my wedding and has nothing to do with my marriage. I have no idea who the day was for before it was for him, but I understand it was for some pagan thing. I don't really care. I hate Valentine's Day because, despite Conversation Hearts, it is nonsense. If I do not spend money on something meaningless and expensive on that day, then I am a bad husband, no matter how much work I do the rest of the year. 

As a wife, ask yourself how demeaning it is to be told, once every year, that what you are doing is not enough. There is no equivalent for wives, of course. A wife who gets her husband nothing for Valentine's Day is not attacked or blamed. The day is just for women to receive presents from their husbands, whose entire lives have been presents and proofs of love. But they are then told that it is not enough. If their lives are not enough, how does a present of candy make it better?

But, there the display sits, in my local grocery, and it will be there every day until February 15. Eventually, I will give in and buy something my wife does not need in order to avoid having her think I do not love her. Do you see why I hate this day?

Women put far too much stock in days, or, at least, too many of them do. If your husband supports the family at his job, if he spends time with you, if he takes you places and enjoys being with you, why do you need something on February 14 to prove that he loves you? 

Isn't his life proof enough? He gave you that at your wedding all those years ago. Isn't that better than chocolate candy on February 14?

That is the real Valentine's Day question. Where do you find his love? If you are looking in a box, you are looking in the wrong place. 

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