It's another Wednesday, middle of the week, "over the hump" day, whatever you may call it. Sunday seems like a long time ago, way beyond the meals and cleaning and children crying and appointments and all the "things" that consume our days. I think that, often, we decide things on Sundays and then forget them by Wednesdays, buried by other things that are more insistent.
Perhaps there was a time in your life when you tried to get out of an actual "rut" in a road. You are driving (or walking or biking) down a dirt road with ruts in it. You, for whatever reason, don't want to go in the rut, so you pull a little left or a little right and try to navigate without the rut. Somehow, though, you always seem to end up back in it. Everything on the road tends toward the rut and if you go along awhile without paying attention, you suddenly find yourself back in it again.
It is the same in marriage. If you have been married more than a year or so, then you have "ruts" in your marriage. Now, ruts are not bad things. The rut in a road is a safe place for the wheels. Riding along where everyone else rides is comfortable and cautious. In our marriage, the "ruts" allow us to know certain things and accomplish certain things. I "know" it is my job to do certain things because that is the "rut" we are in.
The trouble with ruts is that they are sometimes traps. We get in a rut and suddenly everything loses value. You do certain tasks every week and soon no one thanks you, because that is the "rut" you have created. Things that need to be done are not done because no one has a place for them along the path of her "rut" or his "rut."
In preparing to do him good, I want to challenge you in regard to one rut, the "go to work" rut. Many of our class members are "stay at home" moms whose husbands go off every day to work while they stay home and live their lives. Each day, you spend money he made at that job, to buy groceries or diapers or a double espresso, without a thought about what he did to make that money. Each day he goes and comes without a thank you, without a comment, except (perhaps) an occasional dig about how little he makes or how much you "wish we could take a vacation" or have a new car. Or another complaint about how many hours he works and how much time he is missing from home.
On the list of things men do that are seldom acknowledged, none ranks higher than his daily job. In studies, it has been found that most wives give almost no value to the husband's work, to the 40 (or more) hours a week he spends making money for the family. They think that is "just his job."
Well, it is his job, but not "just his job." It is the source of your income and your food and your shelter. It is the hope of health and security. It is eight to twelve hours a day that he gives to the family, doing what he would rather not do for the sake of money.
One thing to do that would be "good for him" would be to appreciate, and to express appreciation for, the work that he does every day. In some way to let him know that your love for him is increased by his act of love, every day, in going somewhere to work and bring home what your family needs. To let him know that his work is known and valued by the most important person in his life -- you.
Perhaps there was a time in your life when you tried to get out of an actual "rut" in a road. You are driving (or walking or biking) down a dirt road with ruts in it. You, for whatever reason, don't want to go in the rut, so you pull a little left or a little right and try to navigate without the rut. Somehow, though, you always seem to end up back in it. Everything on the road tends toward the rut and if you go along awhile without paying attention, you suddenly find yourself back in it again.
It is the same in marriage. If you have been married more than a year or so, then you have "ruts" in your marriage. Now, ruts are not bad things. The rut in a road is a safe place for the wheels. Riding along where everyone else rides is comfortable and cautious. In our marriage, the "ruts" allow us to know certain things and accomplish certain things. I "know" it is my job to do certain things because that is the "rut" we are in.
The trouble with ruts is that they are sometimes traps. We get in a rut and suddenly everything loses value. You do certain tasks every week and soon no one thanks you, because that is the "rut" you have created. Things that need to be done are not done because no one has a place for them along the path of her "rut" or his "rut."
In preparing to do him good, I want to challenge you in regard to one rut, the "go to work" rut. Many of our class members are "stay at home" moms whose husbands go off every day to work while they stay home and live their lives. Each day, you spend money he made at that job, to buy groceries or diapers or a double espresso, without a thought about what he did to make that money. Each day he goes and comes without a thank you, without a comment, except (perhaps) an occasional dig about how little he makes or how much you "wish we could take a vacation" or have a new car. Or another complaint about how many hours he works and how much time he is missing from home.
On the list of things men do that are seldom acknowledged, none ranks higher than his daily job. In studies, it has been found that most wives give almost no value to the husband's work, to the 40 (or more) hours a week he spends making money for the family. They think that is "just his job."
Well, it is his job, but not "just his job." It is the source of your income and your food and your shelter. It is the hope of health and security. It is eight to twelve hours a day that he gives to the family, doing what he would rather not do for the sake of money.
One thing to do that would be "good for him" would be to appreciate, and to express appreciation for, the work that he does every day. In some way to let him know that your love for him is increased by his act of love, every day, in going somewhere to work and bring home what your family needs. To let him know that his work is known and valued by the most important person in his life -- you.
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