I attended a wedding this weekend. It was, as usual, a very nice wedding. As I watched this young couple getting married, I thought about how interesting their next two years will be. They have already had some very interesting times getting to know one another before marriage. The next two years will be even more exciting. There is nothing like living with someone for getting to know them.
But it seems to change, doesn't it? If you have been married more than four years, things are very different. There is very little that you learn about your spouse now. He seems to just be who he is with no more mystery at all. The excitement of the early years can easily translate into boredom in later years. The things we know no longer excite us (some of them annoy us) and there seems to be little "under the surface" for us to find.
I have been married 30 years. The other day, we were at lunch with a young couple and, suddenly, I learned something about my wife I did not know. She told a story from her college days that entirely surprised me. It was a simple story about simple things, but I had never heard it or anything even close to it.
I realized that as much as I know my wife, there are entire parts of her life I do not know. In the same way, there are things about my life she does not know. How can we get bored with each other when there are so many things we can still learn about each other?
Now, the worst possible response to this is to sit your husband down and say "tell me about yourself." Guys don't do that. If you want to know more, get him talking in a normal way and share something of your life. Tell him more about you, if you want to learn more about him.
And enjoy getting to know someone you love, all over again.
But it seems to change, doesn't it? If you have been married more than four years, things are very different. There is very little that you learn about your spouse now. He seems to just be who he is with no more mystery at all. The excitement of the early years can easily translate into boredom in later years. The things we know no longer excite us (some of them annoy us) and there seems to be little "under the surface" for us to find.
I have been married 30 years. The other day, we were at lunch with a young couple and, suddenly, I learned something about my wife I did not know. She told a story from her college days that entirely surprised me. It was a simple story about simple things, but I had never heard it or anything even close to it.
I realized that as much as I know my wife, there are entire parts of her life I do not know. In the same way, there are things about my life she does not know. How can we get bored with each other when there are so many things we can still learn about each other?
Now, the worst possible response to this is to sit your husband down and say "tell me about yourself." Guys don't do that. If you want to know more, get him talking in a normal way and share something of your life. Tell him more about you, if you want to learn more about him.
And enjoy getting to know someone you love, all over again.
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