Two thoughts come to mind.
First, how easy it is to let this kind of pressure overwhelm you. There are so many things going on at once that it can quickly take control of your life. Your fear for your children, greatly magnified by the current news story approach to life, can almost destroy you. You will focus on them to such a degree that you will forget everything else. Especially your husband.
In families with young children and stay-at-home moms, the "coming home" of the husband is often not a time of joy but of relief. "He is here," the wife proclaims, and immediately begins telling him all about what has happened or instructing him about what he needs to take care of. His coming home is, she thinks, her moment of freedom. He, on the other hand, is coming home from WORK! You remember, that place he goes to every day in order to pay bills. He is tired. He has driven from work (we all know how relaxing it is to commute). He is looking for the comforts of home. This is a source of a lot of domestic tension.
Being an Excellent Wife is often tied to things like how well you "run your house," which includes your children. If your husband's appearance is the relief of your every day, if your idea is to dump everything on him when he walks in, something is badly wrong.
Second, as I look at parenting, I grow more optimistic about marriage. If you can handle parenting, then being an Excellent Wife should not be very difficult. Your husband is not likely to run through the aisles at the grocery store, grabbing things and demanding candy. He is not going to throw a tantrum at the cleaners or start drawing on the walls of your bedroom. He is not going to bite the husband next door or spit on his friends or be sent home from school with a note demanding a wife/teacher conference. Marriage is an adult relationship and you never have to buy band candy.
Compared to raising children, being a wife ought to be a piece of cake.