In the movie Superman II (yes, it's old, but it's still around), the major plot point involves Superman giving up his powers (becoming human) in order to be with Lois Lane. It is obvious to everyone that this is a really bad idea, but it is still in the movie. Later, he is beaten up by a man in a diner. Lois tells him she just wants "the man I love," he replies "I wish he were here."
I wish he were here.
What Lois and Superman had never considered was that, in reality, he was everything that he was. She believed that she loved "him," but never really thought about who he was. He believed that he loved her, but never considered that part of who he was was, well, Superman. Giving up his powers meant being someone else, whom, perhaps, neither he nor Lois would love.
Who do you love?
Women are often caught in Lois's dilemma. You married a man with a certain idea of who he was (or who he would be), but find yourself with someone very different. You married someone you considered to be a "superman" but who turned out to be much different (perhaps less) than you expected. What do you do now?
Well, you love them. That's the command.
Unlike Superman, we do not have the option of simply "giving up" on what we are. Your husband cannot be anyone but who he is. He can change little things here and there, and God can make changes in him, but he is who he is. He is who you married. You may not have known it, but that is who you married.
He cannot get into a chamber and come out as someone different.
In the "olden days," men and women were often unknown to each other when they married. I think, in some ways, that might be easier, because there would be no sense of disappointment. You would get to know him as you were married, as opposed to having your opinion change after marrying him. You would deal with the actual man, not your dream of what he might become.
The man you married is not Superman. He has weaknesses and failings. So love him anyway. Love him not because he is "everything," but because he is your husband. Grow with him (because, believe it or not, he is feeling the same way about you).
Did you think it was different for him? He had ideas, too, and his ideas have also proven to be false in many ways. So, get to know each other as you really are. Acceptance and love go together very well.
I wish he were here.
What Lois and Superman had never considered was that, in reality, he was everything that he was. She believed that she loved "him," but never really thought about who he was. He believed that he loved her, but never considered that part of who he was was, well, Superman. Giving up his powers meant being someone else, whom, perhaps, neither he nor Lois would love.
Who do you love?
Women are often caught in Lois's dilemma. You married a man with a certain idea of who he was (or who he would be), but find yourself with someone very different. You married someone you considered to be a "superman" but who turned out to be much different (perhaps less) than you expected. What do you do now?
Well, you love them. That's the command.
Unlike Superman, we do not have the option of simply "giving up" on what we are. Your husband cannot be anyone but who he is. He can change little things here and there, and God can make changes in him, but he is who he is. He is who you married. You may not have known it, but that is who you married.
He cannot get into a chamber and come out as someone different.
In the "olden days," men and women were often unknown to each other when they married. I think, in some ways, that might be easier, because there would be no sense of disappointment. You would get to know him as you were married, as opposed to having your opinion change after marrying him. You would deal with the actual man, not your dream of what he might become.
The man you married is not Superman. He has weaknesses and failings. So love him anyway. Love him not because he is "everything," but because he is your husband. Grow with him (because, believe it or not, he is feeling the same way about you).
Did you think it was different for him? He had ideas, too, and his ideas have also proven to be false in many ways. So, get to know each other as you really are. Acceptance and love go together very well.
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