How we look at scripture is very interesting. In recent years, there has been much hue and cry over the use of "man" to refer to both men and women. We all know how the language works, in this regard, but it has become a big issue. Similarly, "brethren" was once understood to mean everyone, now it seems to only mean "men", so we change our translations to match this reality.

Likewise, many things that are expressly said to men are, automatically, understood to also apply to women. Thus, when Paul says "there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus," we understand that he really means that there is one mediator between "mankind" and God (that "men" means everyone) and that Christ was a "man," ("man" there meaning a man). When Paul says "let no one boast in men" we know that it is likewise sinful to "boast in women." This does not confuse us because we say the same things in our own language every day.

Anyway, the same principle is often not used in understanding Proverbs. For some reason, unsupported by any textual language, we have decided that Proverbs is different. Or, maybe, just a little different. Especially about sex.

So, we hear odd things in Proverbs 5. The Bible language is not in serious dispute, here is what it says:

    Let your  fountain be blessed,
        and rejoice in the wife of your youth,
        a lovely deer, a graceful doe.
    Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight;
        be intoxicated always in her love.
    Why should you be intoxicated, my son, 
        with a forbidden woman
        and embrace the bosom of an adulteress?

Okay, now, here is where we get odd. Preachers in our age tend to make this all about "men" and how "men" think about sex. It is clear (throughout the chapter) that sex is a big deal. God is giving commands about how to deal with the temptations of sex. Remember that the world of Proverbs was a world filled with prostitution and illicit sex. It was always possible for a person to find a sex partner. The command of God was to find all sexual pleasure in your wife. So, preachers tend to preach this chapter as a duty of women alone and to emphasize how "consuming" sexuality is for men. We think (for some reason) that this is a problem just for men. That is, that it is "men" who are all caught up in sexual desire and that women are somehow more pure.

This is nonsense, of course. It is purely a function of our culture that this is perceived to be true. At other times in history, it has been quite differently perceived. In many prior centuries, it has been the women who were perceived as "wild" and the men who were cold. Remember that it was no so long ago that it was men who wore shorts and hose and high-heeled shoes in order to appear sexually desirable to women.

The reality is that men and women share the sexual drive. That is why Paul makes clear that young widows ought to remarry. 1 Tim. 5:11-14. That is why the sexual duties of marriage are equal. 1 Corinthians 7:1-5.

For too many wives in our age, however, this has become a real problem. They are taught to deny their own sexual desires (because they are taught that sex is evil) and therefore likewise deny their husband's sexual desires ("he is such an animal"). They are taught to be unhappy in one of the things in which God has commanded absolute satisfaction.

The lesson of Proverbs 5, for  women, is that sexuality is real, powerful, and significant. The lesson is that you are, in your marriage, to fully indulge your sexual desires with your husband, to be made one in the act of loving each other. We are to not only satisfy one another (our duty) but also satisfy ourselves. Sexuality is part of who you are. It is not a part you have to "control" or "overcome" unless you have sinful desires. Your natural desires for sex are to be entirely fulfilled in your husband.
Why do we condemn as evil what God has given us for our good? Enjoy the gift of God with your husband.

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