One of the problems with romancing a husband, as many wives would say, is that it will lead to sex. "All they ever think about is sex," is the common response. "If I do that, he will want to have sex with me," we are told.  

Well, yeah. What's the problem?

There are two things being asserted here. First is that romancing a man causes him to think sexually. Second is the idea that your husband wanting to have sex with you is a problem.

As for the first, this is like saying the sky is blue. Of course romancing a man causes him to think sexually. I would note that the same thing is normally true of women. One of the constant complaints from wives is that their husbands want to have sex without romancing them. Well, doesn't that mean that romancing them is connected to sex?

Men are constantly told that they "must romance their wives" in order to promote a healthy sex life. So, romance is connected to sex. It just is. For both sexes. To complain that romance will lead to sex is nonsensical, like complaining that cooking leads to food.

The more troublesome problem is the second issue. Why does it bother wives that their husbands want to have sex with them? I do not get this at all, except where the wife no longer wants to have sex with the husband.

If your husband wants to have sex with you, this is a very good thing. That is exactly what God wants him to want. (Read Proverbs 5 again.) God wants him to desire you, to have sex with you, to be "intoxicated with your love." What part of that seems bad to you?

All day, for most men, he is surrounded by other women, but his desire is for you. Why is this supposed to be a bad thing?

The reality is that it is a "bad thing" only when the wife does not want to have sex with her husband. When a woman expresses unhappiness over her husband wanting to have sex with her, then you know that she has not yet understood being an Excellent Wife. Proverbs 5 and 1 Corinthians 7 are sufficient texts, but more are available.

You want your husband to want you. Every day. You want him to awake in the morning being intoxicated with your love. You want him to think of you all day. You want him to want you at night. You want him to focus all of his sexual drive, all of his sexual desire, and all of his sexual energy on you.

If you do not want this, then what do you want? Do you want a roommate? Do you just want a financial support who stays at work late because he has no reason to come home? Do you just want someone who is stuck being married to you?

If you love your husband, you must actually love him. You must want his happiness. You must want him to be intoxicated with your love.

If you want less than this, then you should never have married at all. Why promise to be a wife when you only want a roommate?

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