It's been a long week at my family, traveling to see a son graduate from Basic Training. But, sometimes, you just need a day off to collect yourself and get started again. So let's think about days off. 

One of the hard things about a website like this is that it is so forward looking. What I mean is that almost everything is about becoming a better wife. It can get really old to try to do these things everyday. It would be nice to have a day off.

So, let's look at this two ways. First, it is certainly fine to have a "day off" in the sense of a day of rest or pleasure without worrying about things. A wife can relax with her husband, without worrying about "what to do." She can go somewhere without worrying about what to say. She can say whatever she likes and "kid around" about her husband a little. She can spend some money on herself and expect him to take her out to dinner. Why not?

Second, however, there is just something wrong about that, isn't there? Let me change this around a little bit. Let's switch the roles for a minute. "It is certainly fine to have a day off in the sense of a day of rest or pleasure without worrying about things. A husband can relax with his wife, without worrying about what to do. He can go somewhere without worrying about what to say. He can say whatever he likes and kid around about his wife a little. He can spend a little money on himself and expect her to take him out to dinner. Why not?"

Doesn't sound the same, does it? It is one thing to say that you want a "day off" from being an excellent wife, but you really don't want your husband taking a "day off" from being a good husband. You may want to joke about him but you probably do not want him joking about you. Some wives are angry if their husband gets a meal out with a friend and wives almost never invite their husbands to dinner. 

When you sit down for a "day off," let's make clear what we are doing. We may be saying two things. First, we may be admitting that we are not, in fact, excellent wives. We are just people trying to do something that we cannot do very well and that is "too much work" and from which we need a vacation. It means that being a wife is not really what we want to be, just as splurging on a chocolate cake means we are not really trying to lose weight. It is an admission that we do not know what it means to be an excellent wife, because we still think it is about "doing things" and not about loving our husband at all. We never want a break from loving someone, because love endures al things.

Second, understand what a "day off" is for an excellent wife. Sometimes, we have a day (or part of a day) in which we are freed from the common, everyday cares of our lives. Perhaps a day with your parents or a day with your friends or an afternoon tea with a good book constitutes a "day off." These are not breaks from being an excellent wife, but part of being an excellent wife. Remember that the excellent wife takes care of herself as well as her family. 

Men and women need "days off," as long as they understand what such days off mean. Rest is one thing, quitting is a very different thing. If your hope is that the day off is a "break from being an excellent wife," then your idea is wrong already. If you want a break as part of being an excellent wife, then you are moving along well.

Leave a Reply.