This may seem strange to you. When we talk about being "excellent wives" we often talk about cooking and cleaning and such things, about which scripture says virtually nothing. On the other hand, we seldom talk about what scripture emphasizes (wisdom, etc.). And we never talk about sex.
The Bible is not embarrassed to talk about sex at all. There are multiple texts on sexual matters, but the two texts on which we have concentrated are found at 1 Corinthians 7 and Proverbs 5. No man or woman should marry who has not been taught Proverbs 5 so that they can understand that sexuality is not a choice in marriage, it is of the essence of the marital relationship.
In Biblical terms, sexuality is at the very heart of marriage. It is fundamental that marriage is designed to deal with the problem of sexual immorality (1 Cor. 7:2). A lack of sex in marriage is a direct cause of sin and evil in the world (1 Cor. 7:5). The Bible is very clear about the importance of sexual satisfaction in marriage. In Proverbs 5, young men are told two very important things. First, that they are not to seek sexual pleasure in the world. Second, that they are to be "intoxicated" by the sexual relationship in marriage. They are to be filled with the pleasure, the joy, the oneness of making love with the wife of their youth.
Both women and men experience sexual desires and sexual longings. They have physical needs which include sexual needs, which are to be met in marriage. There is no Biblical command to married people to "control" themselves, except that they are to direct all of their sexual energy and pleasure into their relationship with their spouse.
Somehow, in the Victorian age perhaps, American Christians forgot this truth. Too many American Christians live in sex-less or sex-starved marriages. There are too many divorces, too many adulterers (of both sexes), too many who turn to pornography, when they should be fully satisfied by their sexual relationship with their wives or their husbands. If a preacher wanted to preach to "felt needs" in his church, he could preach on sex every week and meet more needs than any sermons on self-esteem or heaven.
We are not Victorians but Christians. We rejoice in the gifts of God, including the sexual relationships he has given us in marriage. The Bible makes clear that no wife can be an excellent wife whose marriage does not meet the sexual needs of both her and her husband.