It is interesting that the excellent wife is described as speaking with wisdom. She "opens her mouth with wisdom." And, it says, the "teaching of kindness is on her tongue." Here, we come to one of the great mysteries of marriage -- the way women speak.

Proverbs has much to say about the "other way" a wife can speak: 
"A foolish son is ruin to his father,and a wife’s quarreling is a continual dripping of rain." Pro. 19:13.
"It is better to live in a corner of a housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife." Pro. 21:9; 25:24. "It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman." Pro. 21:19.
"A continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike; to restrain her is to restrain the wind or to grasp oil in one’s right hand." Pro. 27:15-16.

There is certainly a commonality among these verses. A woman has the ability to either be a blessing in her speech or a curse.

To "open your mouth with wisdom" is a great blessing. To say things because they are helpful to others is to manifest love in your everyday speech. To be quarrelsome or negative or complaining is to make everyone miserable. How miserable?

Well, it says that a wife's quarreling is a continual dripping of rain. The slow, steady, relentless "drip, drip, drip" of water can drive a man crazy (consider the old Chinese Water Torture from older movies). A quarrelsome woman is like that drip: constant, annoying, and inevitable. 

The second principle is that it is better to live in poverty (an attic, a desert) than to live in wealth with a "quarrelsome and fretful woman." No matter how comfortable things may appear, there is no comfort in a home with a complaining wife. 

Finally, there is nothing you can do (as a husband) about a quarrelsome wife. You cannot stop her from being quarrelsome. You cannot talk her out of it. It is like trying to grasp oil in your hand or trying to stop the wind. 

This truth remains as real today as the day it was written. A quarrelsome wife is the wife who always thinks she has to change whatever is happening, who always believes things ought to be better, who always wants to worry about every little thing that might go wrong. This quarreling wears a man down over the years and drives children away.

To "open your mouth with wisdom" means to think about what you say before you say it. It means to say things that are loving and kind, pure and peaceable, gentle and kind (remember James 3 and the definition of wisdom). The teaching of kindness is manifest in the words of the excellent wife. 

Remember that a wise woman looks to the health of her home. "The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down." Pro. 14:1. This morning, did you build your house with your words, or tear it down a little? 

The excellent wife opens her mouth with wisdom and builds her house.

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