Well, one of the interesting things about dealing with marriage is that you have to, on occasion, deal with sex. Sex is not only part of marriage, it is, in fact, one of the main reasons for marriage (see 1 Corinthians 7). We don't talk about it much because we have adopted a very Victorian discomfort with sex, contrary to how it was viewed historically or biblically. Still, it is impossible to talk about marriage without talking about sex. It would be like discussing the economy of Las Vegas without discussing gambling.
One of the most interesting issues for women is what we now call "body image." Women, it seems, tend to think badly of their own bodies. They do not think they are attractive. As an illustration, consider how many websites and seminars and such you can find on how to help women feel better about their bodies. Then try to find such a website for men. Anywhere. I'll wait.
Men do not have body image websites. There are not public letters urging young men not to feel badly about themselves. There are not huge movements to try to keep young men from trying to lost weight. This is a women's issue.
And that makes it the "Supermodel Problem." For some reason, women (young and old) have the idea that they need to look like supermodels or, in the alternative, that they will not be loved if they fail to look like supermodels. Even married women feel this way.
Stop it. Seriously. Stop it.
First, it is certainly true that you "do not look like the supermodels look." Neither do they. The pictures you see are airbrushed and staged and altered until the people in them look the way the advertiser wants them to look. Sure, she looks "casual" strolling on the beach, but no one who was there that day saw what you see in the catalog or magazine. No one looks like that.
Second, and even more important, there are no supermodels chasing your husband. Take my word for it. Giselle has Tom Brady, she is not heading to your town to get your husband. And, by the way, your husband knows this. He is not waiting for a supermodel to show up at his door.
He married you. And if you think he married you without thinking about sex, you do not know him very well. Of course he thought about sex. He still thinks about sex. And he still thinks about having sex with you. If he doesn't, and you are sure he doesn't, then you have a very unusual situation.
You see, there are no supermodels coming to your house, but you are there. How are you doing on Paul's test? Remember, "Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control."
So, let's start there today. Are you depriving your husband of sex? If your immediate response is to wonder what "deprive" would mean in this context, then things are already bad. Paul's standard was simple, if he wants more sex than he is getting (or if you want more than you are getting), then someone is being deprived.
No one cares whether you look like a supermodel, they care whether you act like a wife. How are you doing?
One of the most interesting issues for women is what we now call "body image." Women, it seems, tend to think badly of their own bodies. They do not think they are attractive. As an illustration, consider how many websites and seminars and such you can find on how to help women feel better about their bodies. Then try to find such a website for men. Anywhere. I'll wait.
Men do not have body image websites. There are not public letters urging young men not to feel badly about themselves. There are not huge movements to try to keep young men from trying to lost weight. This is a women's issue.
And that makes it the "Supermodel Problem." For some reason, women (young and old) have the idea that they need to look like supermodels or, in the alternative, that they will not be loved if they fail to look like supermodels. Even married women feel this way.
Stop it. Seriously. Stop it.
First, it is certainly true that you "do not look like the supermodels look." Neither do they. The pictures you see are airbrushed and staged and altered until the people in them look the way the advertiser wants them to look. Sure, she looks "casual" strolling on the beach, but no one who was there that day saw what you see in the catalog or magazine. No one looks like that.
Second, and even more important, there are no supermodels chasing your husband. Take my word for it. Giselle has Tom Brady, she is not heading to your town to get your husband. And, by the way, your husband knows this. He is not waiting for a supermodel to show up at his door.
He married you. And if you think he married you without thinking about sex, you do not know him very well. Of course he thought about sex. He still thinks about sex. And he still thinks about having sex with you. If he doesn't, and you are sure he doesn't, then you have a very unusual situation.
You see, there are no supermodels coming to your house, but you are there. How are you doing on Paul's test? Remember, "Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control."
So, let's start there today. Are you depriving your husband of sex? If your immediate response is to wonder what "deprive" would mean in this context, then things are already bad. Paul's standard was simple, if he wants more sex than he is getting (or if you want more than you are getting), then someone is being deprived.
No one cares whether you look like a supermodel, they care whether you act like a wife. How are you doing?
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