Let's try something.
Somewhere in your house, your husband has a hat or a cap. I am willing to believe that virtually every man has ball caps or hats or something to cover his head, although he may never wear them. Get a hat or a cap of your husband's.
Now, go outside and imagine your husband is coming home. Put on the hat or cap, and come in the door. What do you see? Remember, you have on a different hat, so you are a different person. What do you see as you come into the house? What does it say to you?
Is the entrance room (however your house or apartment is set up) a good starting point? We often disregard such rooms and do nothing to keep them in proper condition. What does it say to him when he comes in this room? I can tell you that, when my wife has cleaned up the entry room, it is a great moment for me. Seriously. It tells me she has been working and active and she cares about things, because she could do many other things instead.
As you travel through the house, how does it all look to you, Mr. Husband? Is it warm and welcoming? Is it cold and formal? You have spent all day in a strange place (work) with strange people (co-workers), do you now have the feeling you are coming home? Or are you just exchanging order for chaos?
Do not be a phony here. You are not a butler's inspector, but a husband and father. You are not bothered by evidence of children (toys and books and such). You are not bothered by the things that serve and increase family happiness. But, you cannot be happy about the piles that have lain untouched for a week or so. You cannot be proud of the dust collecting on things or of the dirty dishes from two days ago.
Go through the whole house. Assume you have gotten home and the wife and children are out at a park or visiting someone. You have a few minutes alone in your home. How does it feel to you?
Then, take off your hat or cap and become a wife again. Think of what your husband sees and what it tells him about you. What do you think now?
When we have visitors, we all hustle and move things and hide things, so they will see what we want them to see, but your husband sees things as they really are. An Excellent Wife is not about appearances, but about reality. How is your reality this morning?